Slightly Used Soap

For the discerning individual who still wants to smell like a functioning member of society, but can't quite afford the latest designer scents, Slightly Used Soap is here to help.

Our soaps have been used by people you trust: accountants, librarians, and middle managers. They're a little worn, a little faded, but still effective at masking the stench of existential dread.

Side Effects:

• May cause occasional feelings of mild euphoria
• May lead to increased likelihood of being asked to speak at company holiday parties
• Side effects not yet fully understood, but probably not fatal